Horseboxes & Trailers to Buy All entries on our database are free. If you would like your business displayed please contact us. Please select the type of vehicle and then click on the Submit button for supplier details and contact information. Vehicle From January 2008, anyone involved with transporting equines in connection with an economic activity must have a Welfare of Animals/equine (Transport) Order Certificate of Competence ( known as a 'WATOs Certificate). This applies to grooms as well as horse transport drivers ( it is the employment which is the 'economic activity'). The British Driving Society is one of the 4 Awarding Bodies authorised by DEFRA to provide training and assessment for WATOs Certificates. As a not for profit organisation, our service is cost-effective. BDS assessments can be carried out at any suitable venue of your choice, providing you have a minimum of 5 candidates. Assessments are normally available within 10 days of our receiving your application. For full details, please telephone us on 01473 892 001, or visit our website at British Driving Society New Drivers Act 1997 Trailer Test Car and trailer practical driving test Griptop rubber used for ramp mats was originally designed for conveyor belts. It can be found new cheaper and also bought second hand from suppliers such as: N.A. Fitzpatrick Address: Moss Hill Farm, Bradshaw Road, Bradshaw, Bolton, BL2 4JP, UK Telephone: (01204) 852360 Fax: (01204) 852340 The Blue Cross has published a leaflet packed with practical advice on trailer safety and maintenance. Quickstickers.com offers custom graphics for your trailers, ATVs, boats, and any other vehicle you'd like to add a little flair to! Check out their online catalog , or design your own graphics online! Pinstriping - specialise in Pinstriping and coach lining, traditional brush skills and designs for use on Gigs. Glenn Electronics - manufactures and supplies a range of simple, easy to use Test Units for checking lighting wiring circuits on vehicle towbars, horse boxes, trailers and caravan electrics. Lehel Horseboxes. The Luxury Horseboxes that put your Horses first. SUSSEX HORSEBOXES for all your horsebox needs. Electrical, maintenance, MOT with 100% pass rate, any size horsebox maintained, rebuildings, constantly available via email for you at sussex_horseboxes@hotmail.com , 01622 206006 EQUITRAK from m-Power is a tracking device for all trailers, horseboxes, caravans, farm equiptment, etc.. We supply and fit the trackers. Please contact us to discuss your needs as we have a small variety of EquiTrak options. For more information on prices please email: equitrak@m-power.co.uk or phone us on 0870 766 3245. CAR AND VAN TRACK FEATURES. THE SYSTEM WILL DISPLAY THE EXACT STREET ADDRESS OF YOUR ASSET OR VEHICLE VIA A TEXT MESSAGE THROUGHOUT EUROPE. NO OTHER SYSTEM OFFERS THIS UNIQUE FUNCTIONALITY. ANOTHER UNIQUE FUNCTION IS THAT THE UNIT ALSO PROVIDES GSM TRIANGULATION SHOULD IT LOSE ITS GPS SATELLITE LOCATION SIGNAL. ON AN ALARM ACTIVATION THE DEVICE WILL CALL THE OWNER OF THE VEHICLE AND CONTINUE TO CALL EVERY 60 SECONDS UNTIL ANSWERED. OR CONTACT THE CONTROL ROOM IF YOU REQUIRE 24/7 MONITORING. THE UNIT IS COMPATIBLE WITH 6 VOLT TO 24 VOLT POWER SUPPLY . BECAUSE OF ITS MINISCULE SIZE IT IS IDEAL FOR MOTORCYCLES AS IT CAN BE PROVIDED WITH AN INTERNAL TILT SENSOR. ( WE ALSO HAVE A SOLAR POWERED UNIT FOR SPECIFIC APPLICATIONS ) FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CONTACT IAN ROSS, ATA SECURITY SOLUTIONS LTD, TEL:+44 (0)1529 461789, E-MAIL IAN@ATA4SECURITY.CO.UK Accepting any form of payment for transporting horses without an Operators Licence and the correct hire and reward insurance is illegal under The Goods Vehicles (Enforcement Powers) Regulations 2001 . The Vehicle Inspectorate can seize any horsebox with a gross plated weight of more than 3.5 tonnes or an un-laden weight of more than 1,525kg found to be contravening the legislation. Further information and advice is available from the Vehicle Inspectorate's national helpline, tel: 0870 6060 440. HSS Lift & Shift (tel: 08457 045116) has launched a nationwide trailer hire service. Customers can collect an Ifor Williams trailer from their local depot and return it to any of HSS's Lift & Shift depots throughout the UK. www.i4hire.co.uk - hire out Ifor Williams horse trailers throughout the UK. I t is now UK law to have a break away cable fitted to your trailer. The purpose of this cable is that, if the trailer becomes uncoupled while on the move, it applies the hand brake before snapping, thus allowing the trailer to come to an immediate halt. Tip! When you're out and about in your horsebox or trailer, avoid strain on the ramp hinges by carrying one or two blocks of wood to put under the ramp to help level it on uneven ground. What to put on your horsebox floor and ramp? Before buying it is worth considering the following points:- The weight of your horsebox ramp and the material you are thinking of putting down. You may find that the ramp is difficult to lift if you put a heavy material down. Are you going to wash out the floor every time you use your box? Is your box used for private or commercial use? How often are you planning on using the vehicle? What is your budget and how long do you want the flooring to last? There are three main materials used for flooring and ramps in horseboxes: Rubber e.g. Fluton (6mm from the Loddon Matting Company). Duragrip - a type of rubber, the most expensive but comes with a ten year guarantee. Nylon type of carpet. The lightest and cheapest material Buying a second hand horse-box or trailer? Trailers At present it is not required to register a trailer in the UK. Horseboxes Most horseboxes are conversions where a new body has been put on a chassis that may have started life as another type of truck. There is no identification in the body but there is an identification number on the chassis. Lorries up to 3.5 tonnes have an annual MOT once the chassis is three years old. Larger lorries are tested and plated by the Vehicle Inspectorate at local test centres from a year old and a plate (certificate) is attached to the cab. These tests only mean that the vehicle was roadworthy on that day. Check that the numbers and weights on the certificate match those on the truck. Most of this information can be found on the manufacturer's plate or the chassis plate. Check that the numbers stamped into the engine and chassis tally too. If there is a new body on an old chassis make sure that the vehicle has been tested as a horsebox. N.B. It is essential that the driver of the horsebox holds the correct licence. If the driver passed their driving test before January 1997, they will automatically hold a licence entitling them to drive any vehicle with a maximum authorised mass (MAM - maximum laden weight set by manufacturers) of 8.25 tonnes. If obtained since that date, additional courses and qualifications are required to drive a non-HGV horsebox. Drivers towing trailers have to pass the B plus E towing test. All double horse trailers fall outside these limits so if you have passed your driving test since January 1997 you have to take a towing test even to tow an empty horse trailer because MAM matters not the actual weight. You can tow a trailer with L plates if you are accompanied by a driver who qualified before 1997 or has passed the towing test. If you passed your driving test after 1997 you are restricted to cars with up to eight seats, to drive anything bigger you must pass a minibus towing test and a minibus driving test. Even after passing these tests you are restricted to towing trailers with a MAM less than the car's unladen weight. From 1 April 2002 all horseboxes fitted with a tachograph will have the equipment checked at an annual test. This will apply even if the vehicle does not fall under tachograph regulations because it is privately owned. Prior to the test, horsebox owners will need to have the tachograph checked to ensure that it was initially calibrated and tested when the vehicle was new. Call 0870 6060 440 for a leaflet. If you are in any doubt about your legal entitlement to tow a car and trailer combination contact the DVLA, tel no: 08702 400009. Useful service: SEIB service offers: A detailed history of the intended vehicle which includes mileage verification, any outstanding finance and previous owners. The service costs �10, this amount will be refunded for those who insure the vehicle with SEIB. Call 01708 850000 or email equiries@seib.co.uk for further details Provenance checks are also carried out by: Experian, Tel: 0800 234 999 HPI Equifax, Tel: 01722 422 422 Horsebox Vetting: Tel: 01483 271049, Mob: 07714 850951 The Organisation of Horsebox & Trailer, Owners Tel: 01488 657 651 Useful Contacts: Department for Environment Food & Rural Affairs for up to date travelling regulations. www.maporama.co.uk for maps of Europe when planning your trip. www.horsesport.org for FEI advice. Towtutor offer a range of towing courses. For more information call 01423 712131. Horsebox Horror Trojan Trailers Horse Trailers � Sales, Spares, Servicing and Repairs. FREE Winter check for your trailer. 01458 241303 Spafax - unbreakable mirrors, 10 year guarantee NFU Horse box maintenance www.horsetrailershop.co.uk - We supply horse trailer accessories from our mail order store. The NFU (Tel: 0870 840 2030) provides the following Free Country Guide to members: Driver licensing, trailer and horse trailer towing. Private transport of horses. Rules on Drivers Hours & Tachographs - Goods Vehicles in the UK & Europe Quick Guide to towing Small Trailers GV74 The Safe Operators Guide EQI_1107 Diving Licence requirements for Horseboxes Insurance Tips on Transporting Horses Transport & Shipping Suppliers Have you visited HorseData's online Shop yet? There are some amazing Special Offers Search HorseData Please mention HorseData when contacting suppliers. Any prices shown are correct at time of publication. If you experience any problems with this web site, we want to know. Please Contact Us. �2001-2008 HorseData.co.uk . All rights reserved. Disclaimer. DHTML / JavaScript Tree by TwinHelix Designs || Horse and Hound.co.uk Home of Equestrianism News Reports Diary Dates Results Horsecare Breeding Jobs Property Horses for sale Horseboxes Classified Subscribe Horse and Hound Forums > Horse & Hound Online Forum > New Lounge Archive DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX User Name Remember Me? Password Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search Community Links Members List Search Forums Show Threads Show Posts Advanced Search Go to Page... Page 1 of 2 1 2 > Thread Tools Display Modes 03-03-08, 07:57 PM # 1 lornyevans Foal Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 7 DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX Hi - has anyone got any advice - I am driving my horse in a 7.5 tonne lorry on the weekend - never driven anything larger than a transit before - and never towed either. Any advice to keep me/horse/other road users safe and happy would be appreciated!!!! lornyevans View Public Profile Send a private message to lornyevans Find More Posts by lornyevans 03-03-08, 07:59 PM # 2 Skhosu Old nag Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 8,197 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX get some lessons? Skhosu View Public Profile Send a private message to Skhosu Find More Posts by Skhosu 03-03-08, 08:01 PM # 3 GDB Old nag Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: In turmoil.. Posts: 7,520 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX I presume you are old enough.. Generally corner slower and more smoothly and dont brake hard, your stopping distances are far longer than in a transit....Use mirrors constantly to check position on the road, hitting the kerb is NOT a good idea!! I always imagine having a tray of drinks in the back and try not to spill them.. __________________ 'Senior Research associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' Member of the 'addicted to Rollestone Foal cam' clique RIP Dol.... forever in our hearts, run straight and sound and free.... Bacardi powered! No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats!! GDB View Public Profile Send a private message to GDB Visit GDB's homepage! Find More Posts by GDB 03-03-08, 08:02 PM # 4 ajb Sport horse Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: south-east Posts: 342 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX practice driving it empty before you drive the horses!!...its easier with less to worry about and you wont give the horses a bad ride if your happy driving it..remember its the height as well as width to think about and do reversing with someone to see you back and do it all slowly..check round the lorry before you pull off as well to make sure skirt lockers and step are shut and up!!!...I find my one easier to drive than my car so you will soon get used to it!! ajb View Public Profile Send a private message to ajb Find More Posts by ajb 03-03-08, 08:09 PM # 5 lornyevans Foal Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 7 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX hmm sensible points - thanks for the advice all lornyevans View Public Profile Send a private message to lornyevans Find More Posts by lornyevans 03-03-08, 08:13 PM # 6 leemark Foal Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 19 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX Remember that you are sitting on or in front of the wheels that turn and so need to turn slower and later or you will hit the kerb or not make the gateway! If there is an overhang at the rear of the lorry bear in mind this goes in the opposite direction to the turn so check mirrors for overtaking car when turning left and undertaking car when turning right or you may take them out when you turn if they are close! You need to read the road a lot further ahead than normal and make sure you have the correct gear prior to making any manouver. leemark View Public Profile Send a private message to leemark Find More Posts by leemark 03-03-08, 08:41 PM # 7 catembi Veteran Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: S Cambs Posts: 4,811 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX As per leemar, rem that when you're turning left you need to go right a bit first otherwise the back wheels will bump over the kerb. You can't just turn left like you do in a car. Make sure you know how all the stuff works like air suspension & the immobiliser thingy & that you know how to get it into reverse. Also that you can manage the partitions / ramp by yourself. And that you've got enough fuel. And that you can reach the pedals. (I can't on our lorry & need a cushion behind me.) I don't mean to come across as patronising - I've driven our lorry once & actually got on ok on a round trip of 60 miles with horse by myself, but there seems to be a lot more to think about than driving a car... DON'T PANIC just cos you've got people behind you - take your time. I was doing fine for 59.99 miles til I came to pull back into our drive, & cos there was a car behind me, I panicked, totally misjudged the turn & pulled my nice metallic 2 tone paint job thru a holly bush... Good luck!! __________________ Ex-racers.....are.....GO!!!!!!!! catembi View Public Profile Send a private message to catembi Find More Posts by catembi 03-03-08, 08:47 PM # 8 Syrah Veteran Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Cheshire Posts: 1,590 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX Definately contact an HGV Instructor and have an hour or so tuition. That's what I'm doing with mine. I wouldn't dream of jumping in it and driving without lessons, it's dangerous. __________________ Syrah View Public Profile Send a private message to Syrah Find More Posts by Syrah 03-03-08, 08:52 PM # 9 kerilli Old nag Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: South Lincs Posts: 19,909 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX try to have a practise first without horse. think of your left foot as being lined up with the middle of the lane, that puts you in the right place. do everything slowly, turning, indicate very early. beware of chicanes, turning one way then another through S bends etc, as the sudden change of direction can make some horses fall over, you need to do a straight bit between the two bends. don't drive too close to the kerb, which was my main fault when i started, i'd shrink away from oncoming trucks because i was so conscious of being in such a big lorry myself, and get yelled at every time! think of the mirrors as being like a cat's whiskers - if you're going straight, and they get through, the body will too! but if turning, the back end will swing out, so be aware of it. stick an L plate on it so everyone else gives you more space! __________________ "...and I whispered to the horse: trust no man in whose eye you don't see yourself reflected as an equal." - Don Vincenzo Giobbe (circa 1700) "Remember, the horse has no bad intentions, he only reacts." Dr Gerd Heuschmann Canoodle, Skylarker, Katy Jones, XL, Smooth Talker. (thanks to Mel85 for the siggy!) kerilli View Public Profile Send a private message to kerilli Find More Posts by kerilli 03-03-08, 08:56 PM # 10 arwenplusone Old nag Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: York Posts: 6,089 Re: DRIVING A 7.5 TONNE HORSE BOX [ QUOTE ] Definately contact an HGV Instructor and have an hour or so tuition. That's what I'm doing with mine. I wouldn't dream of jumping in it and driving without lessons, it's dangerous. [/ QUOTE ] I think this depends on your driving experience - I just 'jumped in' my cargo and I was fine but I've driven lost of different vehicles (nothing as big as a 7.5t though ). I did, however, take an experienced lorry driver in with me who gave me some advice and tips Just take it steady - don't let other road users force you into going faster than you feel comfortable with, USE your mirrors (they are invaluable) and remeber the stopping distances - my lorry brakes ar quite good but they do take a second or to to actually feel like they are working. tbh this was the hardest part for me so I just rolled up to junctions until I was used to it. You'll pick it up in no time! Good luck. (Oh and you'll also find it's really wierd when you get back in your car! ) __________________ My Cat tail survey results are here http://catstat.webs.com/ arwenplusone View Public Profile Send a private message to arwenplusone Visit arwenplusone's homepage! Find More Posts by arwenplusone Page 1 of 2 1 2 > Bookmarks Digg del.icio.us StumbleUpon Google « Previous Thread | Next Thread » Thread Tools Show Printable Version Email this Page Display Modes Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode Posting Rules You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts BB code is On Smilies are On [IMG] code is On HTML code is Off Forum Rules Forum Jump All times are GMT. The time now is 11:55 PM . Contact Us - Horse and Hound - Archive - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Top Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4 Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. || HEXUS HEXUS.tv channel gaming lifestyle trust community ESReality Welcome to the HEXUS.community discussion forums . You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, respond to polls and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today ! HEXUS.community discussion forums > HEXUS.channels > HEXUS.opinions > HEXUS.blogs > Nick Bloody horseboxes! User Name Remember Me? Password Register FAQ Calendar Today's Posts Search Nick Editor - HEXUS.gaming Search Forums Show Threads Show Posts Tag Search Advanced Search Find All Thanked Posts Go to Page... Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 4 > Last » LinkBack Thread Tools 25-06-2006, 09:15 PM # 1 ( permalink ) Nick No more Mr Nice Guy. Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sitting down, facing front Posts: 10,034 Thanks: 11 Thanked 313 Times in 138 Posts Nick's system Bloody horseboxes! Now, for those of you whose idea if weekend fun is watching 2 ½ tons of fine French cuisine leaping over low fences, I’d stop reading right now as I’m about to go off on a proper rant… so I suggest you take you saddle soap and bugger off cos I’m gonna blow! Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about horseboxes, the people who drive them, the things they transport IN them and the attitude of everyone who has anything to do with them. Quite simply, I’ve had yet another Sunday errand take three times as long as it should because of some sodding event where everyone who has a covered trailer and pony that is nothing short of a four legged barrel roll up to block the bloody roads. You see, a horse box to me is a something of a dichotomy… perhaps even an oxymoron. You know how these events got started, be they cross country racing, dressage or show jumping? The horse is a domestic animal because of what it can DO. We tamed and domesticated the modern horse because we needed an animal to pull our ploughs, pull our carts and transport either us or our loads on its back. Then some bright spark got the idea of comparing whose horse was better at something… so he’d arrange a show and everyone in the local area would RIDE their horses to the show. Spot the important word there? I put it in capitals… So what have we got now? Now we’ve got some bloody woman with their petulant kid who’d rather be down McDonalds with her mates trolling up a country lane at precisely 4 mph in a horsebox that Noah decided was bit dodgy when he had to choose between a big boat or a convoy of cars. Horseboxes are the dearth of the roads. Even tractors have to queue behind the damn things to overtake them! And the worst thing is, the people driving the sodding horsebox seem to think that because they have a horse in the back, they should be given the same courtesy and respect they’d receive if they were actually RIDING the poor animal. Even worse, they have the same utter disregard for even the simplest rules of the Highway Code, such as which side of the road to be on and who has to give way at a junction. The problem stems from the fact that these horseboxes hit the road maybe three times in a year and sit neglected in the stable yard the rest of the time. So once mother has prised Jessica away from texting her boyfriend and loaded her and ‘Snickers’ into the horsebox, she’s then faced with coaxing a machine that has been neither serviced or MOT’d since pre-World War One over 100 miles to some half-arsed event run by Borehamwood Pony Club. By the time she gets there, at an average speed of 8 mph, the tailback she’s caused on the M1 and M10 has hit the lunchtime news, but she’s oblivious to this as she struggles not only with a gearbox that has the same amount of lubricant in it as a good cup of tea, but she’s lost too, and the ordinance survey map she brought along is of Salisbury Plain. But she’s a ‘horsey type’ and therefore often views the world from a height of 8 off the ground and automatically deems everyone who couldn’t give a toss about horses as a)stupid, b)inferior and c)stupid. She Mr’s Horsey Woman will stop and ask a local for directions to Gray’s Farm. The fact that she’s just stopped on a dual carriageway or on a roundabout or, and this is MY personal favourite, a two lane road opposite parked cars, is not important to horse bitch. What is important is that Jessica is sulking and Snickers is getting frisky, so asking anyone the way is far more important that just paying other road users a bit of civil bloody consideration. But even more infuriating than this is when horse woman finally finds the field where the event is taking place. Now any right minded person would just drive on in, knowing full well that it’s a bloody field the other side of the hedge and there’s enough room to turn a Tornado jet-fighter at Mach 1 in there… it’s a bloody great field! But no, horsey woman isn’t thinking like that. Despite the fact she’s driving something that she really should have an HGV license for, SHE’S going to reverse into the field. Cue 45 minutes of cars backing up behind her as the first poor bastard though she was turning right when she in fact wanted to reverse left and was getting into position. This poor sod who has spent the last 25 minutes toiling along with his first gear cogs over-heating whilst his view was filled with horse’s arse thought he could nip down the inside only to find a flash of brake lights, a crackled beep of a reverse warning beeper and now he has a really close view of a horse’s bum through his side window. Horsey woman can be seen heaving the steering wheel around like she’s working the tiller on the Cutty Sark and then, once she’s neatly blocked the road in both directions she’ll climb down from the cab and gesticulate to the poor sod about how he’s in her way. Eventually the cars behind him will back up enough to let him get out of the way and then everyone will be treated to a master class of reversing a large lorry through a small gateway. When I say master class, I mean it’s forty minutes long… a full class length. Backwards and forwards, back wards and forwards until there’s blue smoke coming from the exhaust where the last piston rings have finally popped, white smoke coming from the clutch and steam spouting from the radiator… And finally, horsey woman has managed to line up the bloody horsebox with the gate before deciding it’s too small. So she hops out, has a word with the steward who points down the road and with a jolly smile that clock-tower snipers find irresistible, she climbs back in the cab and heads off to the clearly marked COMPETITOR’S ENTRANCE. And that’s just the ones that have a derelict lorry hanging about… What about the bored housewives that have nothing to do all day but moan about how parking spaces for their soft-roaders are too small and isn’t Victoria Beckham looking thin? These, to my mind, are the absolute scum of the earth. I can almost deal with horsey woman, you know where you are with her. You know that if you stay a good 100 yards back anything she does can be dealt with, but bored, rich horsey mum is worse. There should be a register for them and they should all be made to wear an electronic tag when they’re put so we can avoid them. When the BMW, Audi or Toyota off-roader isn’t guzzling twenty gallons a minute on the school run to drop Yossidia, Francesca and Phillip off at school, she’s either parking the thing so badly it’s a ten minute walk to the kerb or she’s pulling a horse-box trailer, an offence that in my mind comes just below sex with a goat. She’s worse than horsey woman because horsey mum has two things on her mind. First, she‘s living out the day-dream that her obnoxious, spoilt sprogs want what she couldn’t have when she was young and second, that by going to these events she somehow increases her social standing with the Rotarians and the PTA. So she’ll load ‘Tisker’ and ‘Mitch’ into the horsebox after having dressed to look the part having crammed her orange-peel cellulite thighs into a set of jodhpurs that make her arse and thighs look like a sack of kicked in tomatoes… And let’s not forget that bulge of stomach peeping over the top… nice. Next she’ll back the off roader up to the trailer and after 20 minutes she’ll give up trying to plug the electrics in because her husband, Terry, usually deals with all that stuff, and besides, he never told her that the grey socket is the electrics for a caravan fridge/freezer hook-up. Terry, is the smart one. And I hate him for it. I don’t hate Terry for his success. I don’t hate him for his money or his big house or the fact he can send his kids to private school. What I hate him for is his cunning. You see, Terry has realised that his business acumen has landed him with a missus who spends his money like water and three petulant kids who sulk if they don’t get everything they want. In short, Terry has inadvertently nurtured a clutch of the most obnoxious people you’re likely to meet this side of an ASBO. So what does Terry do? He spends most of the working week in the City, drinking his evenings away in expensive wine bars that used to be called NatWest and Barclays, but his weekends threatened to be filled with time with the foul four. So Terry gets his wife interested in horses, happily throwing £40,000 at a past time his wife thinks she’ll enjoy as she yearned to have a pony when she was 8. Of course, horsey mum thinks that both her girls will love it and so will Phillip, so she drags them off into her new hobby bankrolled by Terry who finds that £40,000 is a cheap price to pay for a weekend free from his revolting brood. So why do I hate Terry? I hate him because he’s foisted his bloody family on to the road to get in my bloody way! And what makes it worse is that unlike horsey woman, horsey mum is driving a vehicle that pivots in the middle… so you can double the length of time it takes HER to try and reverse into the gateway... But at least she’s made good use of that 2.4 litre turbocharged engine in her school-run mobile because she’s flashed along the motorway at 80mph, horse trailer rocking wildly on its tiny 14” wheels with two terrified ponies only inches from becoming Pedigree Chum. So until she looses it and takes out two lanes of the M25 and most of the Armco, at least she doesn’t hold me up… And the point of all this ranting? Well, there isn’t much of one really, except to clear the anger from my system… But I do have a revenge plan, something to strike back at the very heart of the problem. I’m sure you’ve all seen those stickers on the back of horsey type’s cars, the one’s that say “I slow down for horses”? You know, the ones that guilt trip you into not scream past at 40 mph with the stereo on full blast and horn blaring? Well I’m getting a new sticker made it’s going to say “I slow down for horses but I run horse boxes off the road” And I’m going to stick it on the back of my caravan before I go for a drive past every horse event in my area this weekend. Originally Posted by Dareos "OH OOOOHH oOOHHHHHHHOOHHHHHHH FILL ME WITH YOUR.... eeww not the stuff from the lab" 25-06-2006, 09:52 PM # 2 ( permalink ) johnny02004976 Sexual Force Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Cardiff Posts: 2,694 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts johnny02004976's system hahaha i completely agree mate. I deal with the posh horsey style women everyday of the week (i do savings at a bank ) and they really do think there the top of the pecking order becuase they have money. Get real, you've never done a days work in your life, how does that help society? Spending money on fake tan, diamond earrings and learning how to say "how does one order" just really isnt worth it As for women driving 4x4 vehicles dont get me started, they should be made to take special driving tests in them, 90% of them just cant drive them, stick with a micra or a KA and get the f*ck out of my way. Theres a woman who lives near us who attempts to do a school run every morning, i live about 5mins WALK away from the bus stop so thats about 30 seconds in a car, every morning she drives down there in a new range rover, parks just before the bus stop and WAITS for the bus to put her kid (YES JUST ONE CHILD) on. Whats the point, no wonder your kid is a fat sh*t he dosent have to walk anywhere, mum drops him off at the bus stop, bus picks him up drops him at the school gates, then at end of day bus drops him back off at the bus stop where his mum is sat in the range rover with snacks - im sure he requires vast amounts of complex carbohydrates for the massive climb into the back. So what does mother do all day, NOTHING, she drives back home in the Range Rover to apply more make up and fake tan all day, in preperation for the sloth returning home from school Nick..... look what u started, im gonna have to stop now before i put my mug through my TFT Contrary to the odd name and translucent-grey color, Pocari Sweat does not taste like sweat Hardware: Main PC - See 'My System' Server - Athlon XP 1700+, 1GB, 500GB HD Laptop - Compaq AMD Turion 64 X2, 60GB HD, 1GB Media Centre Shuttle - P4 3.0 Skt 775 Shuttle, 1GB, 120GB HD NAS - 400GB Home Entertainment - Xbox 360 with 37" HD LCD TV, Acoustic Energy Aegis EVO A speakers (5,1), Yamaha RXV359 AV reciever Media Centre II - X2 4000+, 1GB, 400Gb Vista Ultimate Last edited by johnny02004976; 25-06-2006 at 09:56 PM . 25-06-2006, 10:14 PM # 3 ( permalink ) fat jez Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 685 Thanks: 41 Thanked 37 Times in 32 Posts fat jez's system Nick, you had me in stitches. I totally agree. The only thing you missed out is that horsey mum also clogs up the roads when I want to go to work dropping her precious children off at school instead of doing what most other people did when I were a lad and walking. And since she only knows how to drive with a horse box bolted to the tail end of her car, she drives the same way on the school run, doing 30 MPH down a road that is national speed limit. Aargh! Stephen 26-06-2006, 12:11 PM # 4 ( permalink ) FatalSaviour Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: London/Oxford/York Posts: 1,686 Thanks: 23 Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts FatalSaviour's system FatalSaviour's system CPU: Intel Core i7 860 Motherboard: MSI P55-GD80 RAM: 4x2GB GEiL PC17000 Storage: 3x1000GB, 2x500GB (RAID1), 1x2TB Graphics card(s): GTX 275 PSU: Corsair HX700 Case: Antec P180 Monitor(s): Dell 2005FPW Internet: BeThere 24Mb Good weekend then Nick? Originally Posted by Noni What the hell does "WTH" mean 26-06-2006, 12:26 PM # 5 ( permalink ) Lee @ SCAN weanie beanies addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: M28, Manchester Posts: 13,342 Thanks: 272 Thanked 503 Times in 443 Posts Lee @ SCAN's system Lee @ SCAN's system CPU: Intel Q6600 "G0" :: 1800 FSB :: 3.60 Ghz (450 Mhz FSB x 8) Motherboard: DFI lanparty DK-P35-T2RS RAM: 4Gb Corsair TWIN2X4096-6400C5 Storage: Over 4 Tb of Seagates and Maxtor drives in various arrays Graphics card(s): HIS ATI HD4850 PSU: Corsair TX650W PSU Case: Casetec 1018 Silver/Black with side window, lasers and CCFL fans etc OS: Windows 7 Ultimate x64 + all hotfixes Monitor(s): 22" Taxan CRT - 1600 x 1200 @ 75 Hz :: 40" samsung (1920x1080) Internet: 50 Mb Virginmedia Connection Nick - Can we have these rants as a podcast please... Oh how I would love to hear you snarling and snapping the words out. Saying that... I bet you know a few good recipes these horses could be used in Oh and don't get me started on these concrete warriors who think a 4x4 is for travelling 900m down a road with speed-humps to take Billy and Jane to school. Last edited by Lee @ SCAN; 26-06-2006 at 12:30 PM . 26-06-2006, 12:29 PM # 6 ( permalink ) DavidM Scan chap Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 8,248 Thanks: 378 Thanked 168 Times in 155 Posts DavidM's system DavidM's system CPU: AMD Athlon II X2 240 RAM: Corsair 2Gb - need more!!! Case: Totally Customised Scan Alumax OS: Win 7 Pro Internet: Yes Horse steaks can be very nice. 26-06-2006, 01:00 PM # 7 ( permalink ) hitman67 Super Tanker Driver Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Nr Kendal, LA6 Posts: 1,328 Thanks: 36 Thanked 23 Times in 13 Posts hitman67's system hitman67's system CPU: AMD 64 x2 4200+ Motherboard: AsRock Something RAM: 1GB DDR Dual Channel Storage: 200gb Samsung Spinpoint Graphics card(s): Nividia Go 6100 PSU: ColorsIT 400w Case: ColorsIT Cool Case Monitor(s): Compaq 15" TFT Internet: 1mb Broadband Amen brother Nick, the amount of times I've been late for a meeting as I'm stuck behind a Discovery towing a Horsebox is unbelivable, and they always pick the narrowest road possible to drive down, meaning no one can overtake and on coming cars are forced to get personal with a herd of fresian cows to avoid them. Then, just as I think I've got an opening, slip the car into second and go for one thump of the loud pedal, she pulls the Disco into the middle of the road as if I am SUPPOSED to be back there. So ok, I can handle this, I pull back in, back into 3rd and let the car drop back to 15rpm at 22 mph, at least it's good for my fuel economy. We wait a bit longer, dual carriageway. Alli-f**king-lulah (sp?) Once again it's into second and ready, when she pulls out as there is a wagon 10 miles down the road she needs to overtake. Simple answer though, I drop back into the other lane and boot it past that way [: O |=====|O :] Beyond Fashion Since 1948 Originally Posted by XTR Ford Focus - I’m a boy-racer disguised as a sensible office worker at the weekends I'm a curry monster!! Correct apart from the working part Last edited by hitman67; 26-06-2006 at 01:03 PM . 26-06-2006, 02:58 PM # 8 ( permalink ) Zak33 HEXUS.timelord. Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: On the Battle Field Posts: 26,346 Thanks: 1,079 Thanked 900 Times in 543 Posts Zak33's system Zak33's system CPU: QX 6700@2.9GHz Motherboard: Asus P5QL VM EPU RAM: 4 x 2 gig DDR2 800 Storage: Intel SSD, Hitachi 1Tb Graphics card(s): nVidia GTX275 PSU: Coolermaster 800w Case: Silverstone Fortress FT01 OS: Win7 Monitor(s): Iiyama ProLite E2201W Internet: Zen ADSL2+ we discussed this at length......I was sat on the M25 and he had just got home from being stuck behind Tarquin and Toffee-Buttercup III and he was RAVING! BETTER NEVER STOPS Originally Posted by Knoxville there's something about shouting "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE!?" as you whirl a draft excluder about your head that just screams man points 26-06-2006, 03:23 PM # 9 ( permalink ) nichomach Will work for beer... Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Preston, Lancs Posts: 5,978 Thanks: 263 Thanked 121 Times in 86 Posts nichomach's system nichomach's system CPU: AMD Opteron 170 @ 2.5GHz Motherboard: KN8-SLI RAM: 2GB G.Skill DDR500 Storage: 1x250GB Maxtor SATAII, 1x 400GB Hitachi SATAII Graphics card(s): 2x7800GT PSU: Tagan 480W Case: Antec Sonata OS: Windows XP SP3 Monitor(s): Dell 20" Trinitron Internet: Virgin Media Cable ...AND...breathe out... Classic, and I second the podcast idea. This cracked me up, and after my various alarms and diversions this morning was just the tonic I needed. Home rig Work rig 26-06-2006, 03:32 PM # 10 ( permalink ) Lee @ SCAN weanie beanies addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: M28, Manchester Posts: 13,342 Thanks: 272 Thanked 503 Times in 443 Posts Lee @ SCAN's system Lee @ SCAN's system CPU: Intel Q6600 "G0" :: 1800 FSB :: 3.60 Ghz (450 Mhz FSB x 8) Motherboard: DFI lanparty DK-P35-T2RS RAM: 4Gb Corsair TWIN2X4096-6400C5 Storage: Over 4 Tb of Seagates and Maxtor drives in various arrays Graphics card(s): HIS ATI HD4850 PSU: Corsair TX650W PSU Case: Casetec 1018 Silver/Black with side window, lasers and CCFL fans etc OS: Windows 7 Ultimate x64 + all hotfixes Monitor(s): 22" Taxan CRT - 1600 x 1200 @ 75 Hz :: 40" samsung (1920x1080) Internet: 50 Mb Virginmedia Connection Originally Posted by nichomach Classic, and I second the podcast idea. This cracked me up, and after my various alarms and diversions this morning was just the tonic I needed. Come on Nick... Podcast us with a spoof of "grind my gears" from Family guy where you can sit there for 30 mins and RANT about what has grinded your gears this week. It would be comedy gold and of course you could rant about games being pathetic after all the hype, or whinge about Tarquin and Marrion having horseboxes if you want too 26-06-2006, 03:33 PM # 11 ( permalink ) DavidM Scan chap Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 8,248 Thanks: 378 Thanked 168 Times in 155 Posts DavidM's system DavidM's system CPU: AMD Athlon II X2 240 RAM: Corsair 2Gb - need more!!! Case: Totally Customised Scan Alumax OS: Win 7 Pro Internet: Yes Horseboxes = meals on wheels... 29-06-2006, 03:44 PM # 12 ( permalink ) Howard Drop it like it's hot Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Surrey, South East Posts: 11,738 Thanks: 14 Thanked 43 Times in 39 Posts Howard's system Howard's system CPU: Core2Duo E6420 2.13GHz Motherboard: Asus P5B RAM: 2x1gb OCZ DDR2 6400 Storage: 250GB & 500GB Seagate Graphics card(s): Inno3d iChill 7900GS PSU: Antec SmartPower 500W Case: Coolermaster Elite 330 Monitor(s): 2x AG Neovo F419 Internet: Virgin Media 20mbit Nick... Mate... .You should be given a book deal. What you write is just POETRY. How on earth do you come up with it Home cinema: Toshiba 42XV555DB Full HD LCD | Onkyo TX-SR705 | NAD C352 | Monitor Audio Bronze B2 | Monitor Audio Bronze C | Monitor Audio Bronze BFX | Yamaha NSC120 | BK Monolith sub | Toshiba HD-EP35 HD-DVD | Samsung BD-P1400 BluRay Player | Pioneer DV-575 | Squeezebox3 | Virgin Media V+ Box PC: Asus P5B | Core2duo 2.13GHz | 2GB DDR2 PC6400 | Inno3d iChill 7900GS | Auzentech X-Plosion 7.1 | 250GB | 500GB | NEC DVDRW | Dual AG Neovo 19" HTPC: | Core2Duo E6420 2.13GHz | 2GB DDR2 | 250GBx2 | Radeon X1300 | Terratec Aureon 7.1 | Windows MCE 2005 Laptop: 1.5GHz Centrino | 512MB | 60GB | 15" Wide TFT | Wifi | DVDRW HCANNING.CO.UK - Photography gallery - updated! Last edited by Howard; 29-06-2006 at 03:46 PM . 29-06-2006, 03:45 PM # 13 ( permalink ) DavidM Scan chap Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 8,248 Thanks: 378 Thanked 168 Times in 155 Posts DavidM's system DavidM's system CPU: AMD Athlon II X2 240 RAM: Corsair 2Gb - need more!!! Case: Totally Customised Scan Alumax OS: Win 7 Pro Internet: Yes I guess you mean Nick 29-06-2006, 03:48 PM # 14 ( permalink ) dangel Loves Wifey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Cambridge, UK Posts: 7,259 Thanks: 286 Thanked 307 Times in 229 Posts dangel's system dangel's system CPU: See My Sig Motherboard: See My Sig RAM: See My Sig Storage: See My Sig Graphics card(s): See My Sig PSU: See My Sig Case: See My Sig OS: Windows 7 Monitor(s): See My Sig Internet: 8mbit I couldn't be arsed to read all that - can someone summise it? Something like: "i don't like horseboxes" yeah? :0) System 001: Asus P5Q Deluxe, Q6600 @ 3.0ghz, D-Tek FuZion V2 CPU Block, GTX280, Alphacool GPU Block, 4GIG Corsair 6400 DDR2 RAM CL4 @ 800mhz, Corsair HX1000, Dell SP2309W, Logitech 5.1, Samsung F3 1TB x 2 (RAID 0), 500 GIG 7200.9 (backups), Intel X25-M Gen 2 SSD (System), Antec 1200 case, Thermochill 120.3 rad, Vario Pump, Windows 7 x64 [main] System 002: 4200X2, ASROCK (my ass-rocks!) 939 uATX MB, ATI1650 (passive), Zalman 500W psu, Kingston 40gb SSD, Dell 2001FP 20" LCD, £7's worth of 5.1 speakers (they rock) Windows 7 x86[wife/server] System 003: AOpen 1557 GLSLaptop, ATI 9600 64mb, 1.5 GIG of DDR2700 memory, 60gig fujitsu HD 8mb cache, Intel Wireless and it's great! Windows 7 32bit [main lappy] System 004: ASUS MB, Intel Core 2, 4 GIG Corsair, Silverstone HTPC case, stock cooler, GT220 1gbDDR3, Samsung F3 1TB, Kingston 40gb SSD, MCE Remote, Samsung 40" LCD (87BDX) via HDMI Windows 7 (32) [media centre] 29-06-2006, 03:56 PM # 15 ( permalink ) Mike Fishcake Meow. Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Manchester Posts: 3,308 Thanks: 196 Thanked 188 Times in 91 Posts Mike Fishcake's system Nick - that was pure, pure beauty. Well done. Team Fishcake - Silly comedy sketches and writings XS Malarkey Comedy Club Twitter | FaceBook | MySpace 29-06-2006, 04:21 PM # 16 ( permalink ) MantisCSS Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Basingstoke Posts: 900 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts MantisCSS's system so you feel quite stongly about this Nick....... i do agree this maybe a lil chnage of subject but how bout horses on roads? when dogs mess on a road or somethign they get a 1000 pound fine or 500 or what ever but then a horse does it and its about 20 times bigger and smells worse yet its fine! you done see the rides getting of their horse with a shovel and a bin liner and taking it home!! 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